#(muse: ava dawn rogers)

[hurricanesshepherd]

“𝐑𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧; 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝.” - 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀

𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝓌𝒶𝓀𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒶

After Shuri’s successful procedure, Ava had no words. Her mind had never been clearer, all her wounds had been healed and her power was prominent. It was as if she was good as new. When she woke she was very absent minded, but Nebula was by her side. Steve, Tony and Bucky had left to Italy. Nebula was on a mission, which was to get them far away from everyone and live out their lives together. As the two held conversation, Ava’s mind was piecing together everything she had done; everything she had put her family through. Nebula was just about to disclose her plan for escape before Ava began to break down, mentally and physically, out of self disgust and guilt. She didn’t want to face anyone and she felt didn’t deserve to be happy. Nebula watched her begin to self combust and begged her to stop. Ava refuses and is ready to let herself combust until Nebula hugged her, ready to go out with her. She immediately went in full protection mode and pushed her away, stopping her from self combustion. After arguing, Nebula proposed a plan: they stage their deaths and they leave. She triggers an explosion big enough to kill them but not harm anyone else in their vicinity. They run and don’t look back. Ava stood and pondered for a short second before agreeing. They were gonna come for her. They were gonna punish her. Yeah, she deserved it, she thought...but she had been through enough. She concluded she wouldn’t be thrown in the hands of someone else. It’s better for all parties if everyone thought she was dead. The duo ran outside the dome ready to go, when she realized there was a flaw to the plan. It’s creator.

“You can’t come with me. If I do this my love you can’t come. They’ll know. They’ll find us. You’re a liability. I wish it wasn’t the case...but it is. You have to go back. For me. Please.”

Nebula was in denial and shock as Ava let herself hurt the last person who genuinely cared about her, ending their relationship. Nebula reluctantly gave her all the resources she had for her. After crying, hugging and exchanging kisses, Ava started her trek out of Wakanda. Her new life.

𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒿𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝒽��𝓉𝒾

The guilt didn’t fade. The pain grew. If she was gonna take advantage of this life, she had to let the past go. let everything go. let everyone go. And she had a plan. A hard one. The longest shot shes ever experience, but she was going to cash in all her money, and all her favors. She put on her operative boots one more time and lured a few former SHIELD agents, consultants and doctors to an secure location.

“You all promised you would heal me, and you didn’t. You used me for years. So honestly, I could kill you right now. Point blank. But I won’t. I’ve turned over a new leaf. But I need a new start. A fresh one. I know about Phil Coulson. I know about Project TAHITI. I want you guys to do same to me but with a twist. Erase my memory and set up a new narrative. I want you to give me the life I deserved to have. The life I was promised. And I want it now.”

After hours of arguing back and forth with them, she set up a narrative for her. She knew it was doable. It’s SHIELD.

The surgical team assembled that afternoon and prepped her. Ava closed her eyes and said a silent prayer, playing back all the good memories she had with her friends and family, shedding a tear for the memories soon to be lost.

Project TAHITI was a success...

Or was it?

𝓃𝑜𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑒 𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇

Noelle Marie Oliver was adopted by Joel and Kelendria Oliver. She was raised in London and had a loving home, family and a warm environment, accepting and protective of her abnormal abilities and powers. She was the brightest of her peers and skipped grades as she made her way to university at Oxford. She studied cosmetology and entrepreneurship, and started working for corporate Sephora with the dream to start her own makeup company. As soon as she settled into her career she decided she was ready to adopt. She has a baby girl she had named Stevyn Antonia Oliver. It’s an odd name, but she always knew that was the name she wanted for her daughter. Noelle has everything she wanted and there’s nothing that could ever ruin that.

[hurricanesshepherd]

Video Letter #4

𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓂𝓈

“My lovely other half. God. I hope you never see this. But hi. Let me start off by saying something you hear from me every day. I love you. We are the most unpredictable pair but we work. It’s always been Tori and Ava. You always had my back and I did my best to have yours. I hope I didn’t let you down. You constantly inspired me. Hey darling, Listen to me. Listen to me well. This is gonna hurt. Its inevitable but you can control how long it does. I love you so much and I’m always gonna be with you. And as much as it pains me to think of the idea that we aren’t gonna grow old and live our lives together, you’re still going to be amazing. You’re gonna be a great friend, a great wife and a great mom. I got you forever T. Even from my side. Don’t you forget it. Thank you for everything. I’ll see you.”

[hurricanesshepherd]

Video Letter #5

𝓉𝑜𝓃𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓀

“Hey Dad.” Ava smiled softly as she looked in the camera. “I’m really hoping you never have to see this, but things have been weird. And I’ve been feeling weird, so the purpose of this video that by the graces of the universe you’ll never see is that I don’t leave anything unsaid.” She looked at the camera as she began reminiscing, “You know as someone who unwillingly worked for SHIELD all those years I felt the need to know about certain things, certain people. You were one of them. You already know this, but I thought I had you all figured out, and I didn’t like you to say the very least. When Steve recruited me, I don’t think I couldn’t have made that more clear to you. But I had spent a lot of time with you, got to know the you that the public doesn’t see. The kind, the compassionate, the generous, the empathetic you. I would very quickly come to learn that having you in my life is an honor and a privilege and something I genuinely cherish. The public doesn’t shed you in the best light, and we all make mistakes but I know you always mean well. The Tony Stark I know and love so much would never intentionally hurt a soul. I wasn’t there for it all but I know a good chunk of your story and it’s inspiring and I couldn’t be more proud of you. Honestly, it’s impossible. Everyone deserves to know the real you. You deserve the utmost appreciation, love and respect, and I hope I did that while I was around. I’m usually shoving food in your face but hey, it’s the little things right?” She laughed before tucking some hair behind her ear. “If I can leave you with anything it’s this. Self care and self love. You’re very hard on yourself and life is very short. Step out of the lab, do something not related to work. Vacation more. Emphasis on that. You deserve to genuinely smile once in awhile, if not every single day. If there’s one thing I’ll miss most about you it’s that beautiful smile. I love you so much. This isn’t goodbye.”

[hurricanesshepherd]

“We at war with terrorism, racism, but most of all we at war with ourselves”

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑔𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 - After the battle, Ava was in excruciating pain and was full of guilt. She had so much power yet she was still weak. Emma had taken over her mind and she fought against Steve. That alone took a major toll on her psyche. Ava was phasing, slowing down the bleeding out process, causing her to feel every wave of pain. She was barely able to call for help, with the condition she was in. She left a trail of blood as she attempted to make her way through the compound to the infirmary. She could barely walk so she got on fours and crawled, leaving a thick trail of blood behind her. When Steve finally found her, her anguish grew as she could barely look him in the eye. When she stopped phasing, Steve picked her up and rushed her the rest of the way to infirmary, leaving her in the care of Jean Grey.

Last time they were in a similar position, Ava had lost her memory, and she had been completely terrified of everyone and everything. Today, she was terrified, but she trusted Jean Grey to do more than right by her. Ava’s injuries weren’t severe, but her phasing was making them worse. With Tori and Atlas with massive troubles of their own, she was unable to go to quantum realm for stability. Jean successfully took her pain away but consequently disabled her powers, leaving Ava in a coma, and an opportunity to heal.

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒-

Ava gasps as she sits up on a bed. She feels around and realizes that she had been here before. She knew this place all too well. She hadn’t been here since she was...a child. She looks around and saw a young girl with innocence written all over her face, with her loose curls and caramel skin shining thanks to the sunlight from the cracked window. Her tomboy style showed prominently. This was...this is her. Ava froze as she started at the girl not blinking for a minute. The second she did, once her eyes opened the girl disappeared. Ava immediately went to panic mode. She stood up and ran out of the room and stared down the hallway. The girl was absent and her panic grew double as the alarm in the building went off. “No, no...” She remembered these events vividly. She began to run towards the lab, “Dad? Daddy?!” She stumbles into the lab as the quantum machine began combusting. She felt someone fiercely grip her arm she turned and saw her horrified mother. “Mom-“ “Go!” Her dad yelled at them signaling them out the door. “Not with out you!” She screamed pulling on her dad’s arm, “Please, just let it go! CHOOSE US!” “I have to fix this baby, JUST GO!” Ava’s mother pulled her out of the room, as Ava kicked and screamed, “DAD COME ON, PLEASE!” She pleaded, but the whole room exploded. Ava withstood the explosion but she watched her parents get blown into pieces. She screamed in terror as she mourned her parents. She heard the doors burst open. SHIELD. Ava reluctantly stood up and started running. She was cornered by more SHIELD agents as the pinned her down and iced her.

Ava’s eyes burst open and she was pinned to the table and wires all over body. “No, no, no, please don’t. Please don’t do this to me, it’s not my fault! I don’t want it! I don’t bloody want it!” A mask was out over her to keep her quiet as Ava’s eyes were clouded with tears. She closed them as she anticipated the pain and the horror.

𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹- Ava’s eyes burst open. She was covered in sweat. She looked down her shirt and found that she was fully healed. Ava sighed in relief, traumatized that trauma that she believed she copes with her so prominent and tangible in her subconscious. She took a breath of relief but her relief was all but long lasting. she looked up and saw the young girl at the edge of her bed standing next to her parents. “you killed mom.” the young girl said. “you were supposed to leave. but you stayed, and everyone died. but you.” “i-i-i-i-i didn’t want that.” she looked at her parents, terrified. “im sorry.” “you grew up to be a monster, a killer. I can’t even look at you.” her mom said disgusted. Ava shook her head ferociously, “SHIELD made me. I didn’t have a choice. I was sick...they were gonna heal me. they promised.” “I hate you!” The little girl screamed as she and her parents ran away. “No, no, no. Come back! Don’t leave me, I’m sorry!!Mommy, daddy! Please!” Ava screamed. She ripped off her IV and ran into the hallway to look for them but they were no where to be seen. She turns around and finds her father away from her face, “You waste of oxygen.” He murmurs. Ava runs back into her bed and smothers her head with the pillow and cries in despair and anguish. Little did she know that this was just the beginning of her anguish and confusion and self hate, but there was room for rage. The rage was distributed to several, but other than herself, there was one who carried the weight of it all: Stark.

[hurricanesshepherd]

Video Letter #6

𝒷𝓇𝓊𝓃𝓃𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝑒

“My beautiful, beautiful queen.” Ava takes a huge breath before continuing, “I made another one of these after we broke up because you know, things are different now. You are happier, better with someone else and uh...I can’t be mad at you for that. I wanted to be, because that shit hurt but...I just want what’s best for us. And I think this is what’s right. I’m still glad you’re in my life even though we are still working on what exactly we’re gonna be to each other. I don’t care what is as long as at the end of the day our love never fades. I know it won’t.’ Ava smiles, “One thing I love about you is that you’re a protector. You jump into mom mode before anyone can do anything. As beautifully honorable as that is, I know you’re gonna find a way to blame yourself for whatever happened. I know you did your best because that’s what you always do. So please, don’t blame yourself. Please don’t shut down. You’re so loved and respected by many and you may not think so, but you have a family here. We look up to you. No pressure but it’s just what we naturally do. You’re always a part of me and I’ll always be a part of you. Regardless of how I left us, I know it wasn’t correctly, so. I leave you with my love and gratitude. I would do anything to hug you, to kiss you one last time and tell you I love you. To my lovely queen, till we meet again.”

[hurricanesshepherd]

Video Letter #3

𝓈𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝑒𝓃𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁

“Scarlett...Scarlett, Scarlett, Scarlett. I really debated making one of these for you. Because we aren’t as close as we were once upon a time. But I left so much unsaid, and just...they way things were at the time I thought that’s what you wanted. I never got past it. I never got past us. I can count the amount of regrets I have in one hand...and one of them was never telling you how I felt about you. How do you tell your best friend that you were in love with them?” She shrugged nodding. “I miss you. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. You were always so perfect to me and I should’ve appreciated you more while I had the chance. So I’m sorry. I’m really very sorry.” She smiled, “We had amazing times together and that’s what I need you to cherish. I need you to move on as soon as you can, for your sake. Even when we were apart I felt like you were with me. That’s how I’ll always be with you. I love you, Scarlett. Always have. Always will. You are going to do amazing things. And I’m so proud of you. I have faith we’ll reunite again and I’ll be waiting oh so patiently.”

[hurricanesshepherd]

Video Letter #2

𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒶 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑒𝓇

“Hey Lana. Shit, I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe you’re actually here. You’re back.” Ava giggles and claps excitedly. “This per say isn’t a cheery video but I can’t help but be excited that you’re here! You’re just. I don’t know how I got through what I got through without my Lana.” She sighs, “But if you’re seeing this. I’m not gonna be around much, and that’s most likely my fault. So sorry.” She sighed, “so I know you. you’re gonna shut down. and you can’t. not because of me. you just got back you should be happy and full of life. and my only regret is that I won’t be there to witness it right next to you. you fall in love, start a family. but it’s gonna be okay. it’s always gonna be okay. you were the light of my life. i always considered myself in debt to you. whoever is in your life is blessed. you’re beautiful, you’re kind, and you are going to do great things.” Her phone went off. “Oh, speaking of the devil, look who’s calling.” She picks up her phone. “Hi baby, are you ready to eat?” She smiled. “You’re gonna love what I cooked, it’s a nice beautiful pork loin.” She snickered. “Hey, hey hey, Lana I was kidding. I take your veganism very seriously. Trust that. The food is cooling off I’ll see you down there.” She sighed and smiled as she looked in to the camera. “I love you too, Alana. I’ll see you soon.”

[hurricanesshepherd]

Video Letter #1

𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓋𝑒 𝓇𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓈

Ava settled in to her couch as she started recording the video. “Hey dad.” She winced softly. She put her hand up in a waving fashion. “I’ve been having serious injuries back to back lately. So considering my luck and unpredictable powers, I decided I should make a video...that you hopefully will never ever have to see.” She fumbled with a wrinkled stack of papers. “Shit, I have no idea what to say. I feel like the things I would say here you already know...but at the peak of emotionally jarring moments we forget. So you know what? In the situation of an untimely demise, I want you to keep this video alive.” She looked down at the paper again. “I remember after the snap, I was recruited by you. I looked at you like I was crazy. Scott and the Pyms were gone, and I was scared out of my mind. I thought you were gonna do me just as dirty as SHIELD did. You told me to give you a chance...and that’s exactly what I did. And it was the best thing I ever did. You were a great boss, a great friend. I started calling you dad as a whole joke, but now it’s just weird if I call you anything else. Which is why I don’t, unless I’m like pissed at you, which isn’t really fair. I’m sorry.” She clears her throat and looks down at the papers again. “You know you scared the fucking shit out of me when you were in that coma. For a whole year. Shit. And I just talked your ears off for the most of it. But when you woke, and you told me that you heard me, I knew that this was something I wanted to do.” Ava opens the stack of papers to reveal adoption papers and name change forms. “So, I’m not really sure how this works since like, I’m not a child even though you always make me act like one but I really wanted to ask you to ‘adopt’ me. I already signed them, but...I don’t know. I’ve been dying to ask you, but I’m not sure your stance, how you would feel about it. I didn’t want to kill our vibe. It’s always good vibes with us when I’m not at death’s door. Yikes. Too soon.” She looks down at the paper. “God, I really hope if you’re seeing this I left this world officially being Ava Dawn Rogers. I really do.” She slowly put the papers down and looked directly into the camera. “So, dad. If you’re seeing this, I probably fucked up and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m putting you through this. But I want you to know that I might not be next to you, harassing you or teasing you anymore but I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be there, and we will see each other again. Everything is gonna be okay. I have to believe that, and I do. I hope you do to. Thank you for everything you have done, thank you for everything that you do. Please take care of yourself. I love you so much, daddy. I’ll see you soon.”